"The hard light skimmed through the slats covering the window and glared into my face, emphasising the darkness engulfing the room. The two men still stood there, looking down, pondering their next move. The rope holding my hands together were starting to cut, pulling my shoulders tightly behind the chair I had been roughly placed into. I had explained to them several times why I was there; I am writing a UK New Releases article, and was doing some research.‘What will the article feature?’ said the smaller of the men, attempting amicable conversation.
‘L.A. Noire, Dirt 3, and possibly a hidden penis joke; the usual works’ I replied.‘The usual works eh?’ grunted the taller of the two. Bad cop, I figured.‘Heres the problem – L.A. Noire doesn’t exist’ he said, firmly gripping the arms of my chair, flecks of chewing tobacco mingling with his threats upon my person. I was confused.‘But, how can that be; L.A. Noire is out on general release in the UK this friday – I’ve...